고너: Final Chapter, by 상기하다

고너: Final Chapter

by 상기하다

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1.	봄: The Death of Slushwave 18:00	buy track
2.	구속자 09:00	buy track
3.	개자식 29.02.24 06:00	buy track
4.	그림자의 파괴: The Death of Dysphoria 15:00	buy track

about

"상기하다" (recall) was a Slushwave/Ambient project created back in 2022 by Mel Padilla under the name of "Eimi".
The project started with a Single released on April 9. On April 10 the album "성별위화감 (gender dysphoria): First Chapter" was released as an EP consisting of only 3 songs.Over the months the songs missing from the Album were released in different formats along with new songs that were produced at that time.

I remember the day I found this drawing of Hatsune Miku burning the transgender flag, and then I decided to turn it into something different where the USA flag was being burned instead.
The first chapter wasn't released as I wanted or planned. Even knowing that, almost 2 years later I still feel proud of it. But my pride is not enough because however I lost my way in the middle of everything. In that first moment nothing was clear, and trough the months I was drowning in a sea of mistakes, fucking up everything including this project. Bad decisions were made. I got carried away and lost the original plan I had for this.

Now I want to say farewell to this project from the best way I can, finishing what I started.
I can't describe what are the emotions, thoughts or feelings I tried to portray in this three chapters. What I know is, despite all my errors and the things I regret, This dysphoric feeling never stopped. This self-loathing that brings me back to my desktop will someday drive me to a beautiful suicide. I have spent countless nights on the internet trying to achieve nothing but an emptiness that disconnected me from reality. I met people on the internet, but there's no friends trust. I can't stop consuming everything that have destroyed me and society will never say goodbye to me because I was never there for them.
I'm a goner. There's no light for me, only death.

I'm about to die, those are my last words. But before tell her, and forgive me.

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released December 29, 2023

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상기하다 South Korea

07.05.2024

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